Showers where I can wash my hair, shave my legs and stand under the hot water until it runs cold are such a dream these days!
Cana tried her first bottle last night! And the best part? Frankie fed her!
He's struggled a little bit to bond with her as much as I have. Seeing as he is at work all week and doesn't have boobs... It's upsetting for us both when I hand her to him and she gets fussy almost instantly and won't be consoled until she gets back to me. But after being fed by her daddy, that changed! He rocked her, played with her and snuggled her til she slept for over an hour with no fuss. None. Zero. Zilch!
For the first time in almost four weeks, I was able to shower without rushing through it and listening carefully for screams coming from the living room. Praise God!
Although I love all the holding and rocking and feeding of Cana, it gets exhausting... I feel guilty admitting that, but I know I'm allowed to feel that way. It's natural. After three and a half weeks of almost constantly being touched by my daughter (and nine months of growing her in my womb), my body needs a rest. Having the ability to give her to Frankie with a bottle and know I have at least an hour of touch free time is a great gift. One that I never knew would be so important to me.
However, after her bottle and my glorious shower, I found myself longing for her next feeding time. I missed her. What a strange time I'm living in... Simultaneously wanting space and wanting to constantly hold my little girl.
Oh motherhood, you're a funny thing sometimes.
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