Sleep Training: Praise be to Jesus Christ!

The first night in the hospital, Cana slept zero. Well, unless she was attached to her food source, then she would snooze for a few minutes, I'd try to out her down and she would then cry her perfect little newborn yelp. Frankie and I definitely said multiple times, "Why won't she sleep?" "Is she ok?" and my favorite "I don't know if we can do this..." 

Mad about sleeping from day one...

Six months into motherhood, I now laugh at the wishful thinking mother I was 12 hours after Cana's birth. You think you can put her down and she'll sleep? Ha! You think she will sleep without you right up next to her all dang night, switching positions whenever she's uncomfortable and nursing whenever she desires a bit of a snack? So funny! 

You see, we got lucky with our sweet Cane. ;) She's been a horrendous sleeper since day one (with a few weeks of 6-7 hr stretches around 4 to 8 weeks old). She had reflux, a milk protein allergy, and is very strong willed. This all added up to her not being able to sleep well on her own.

Now I'm all for cosleeping, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, homeschooling and the other "crunchy mom" things. They're my brand of parenting. So when Cana began to regress in her sleep around 2 months, I happily pulled her into bed with us at night. First it was just around 4am, but soon it began getting earlier and earlier until I eventually just put her pack n play away and decided to cosleep full time. I loved it, Frankie loved it and Cana loved it! She would sleep 3-6 hours at a time snuggled in my arms and we'd all wake up well rested! What more could you ask for?

This worked wonderfully for our family until Cana got big enough to move in her sleep and weaned herself off of the swaddle. She began waking upwards of ten times a night because she was uncomfortable and then would only go back to sleep if she was fed. 

All of this made me realize that cosleeping just wasn't going to work much longer. Despite the ease and our love for it, none of us were sleeping as well as we should have. So I began researching sleep training. I wanted to do gentle approaches, but quickly realized Cana's personality was far too strong for them. So on to Cry It Out I went... I hated the idea of her crying and I was terrified she'd be one of those babies who cried forever and ever, so we kept putting it off. Illness, teeth, allergies, and busy schedules kept getting in the way of sleep training until finally I put my foot down. Spring Break! Frankie would be home for a week and we didn't have any big plans. Perfect! 

In all my months of research, we decided that a full extinction method was all that might work on our strong willed baby. We decided to do our normal bedtime routine (bath, pajamas, story, nurse, prayers, sing Salve Regina) then put her down awake and walk out. We'd let her cry for an hour then go get her and try again once she was calm. I think. To be honest, we never really had a solid plan of what to do after the hour mark... But praise God we didn't ever reach that point!

We are now entering night 5 of sleep training and I am pleased to say it is working! So much better than I thought! I've learned a lot about my baby in these last few nights, especially that she is a tension releaser! She needs to let out her energy before bed and that does mean some fussing and crying, but it's her way of settling down. It's heartbreaking to hear (I always cry), but seeing my sweet baby actually resting and sleeping makes up for it! 

Here's how it went:

Night One:

Put in bed at 7:05

She cried until 7:41 (36 mins)

Cried 9:45-9:57

Woke at 10:15 so I went in and nursed her.

Laid her down at 10:29 

She cried on and off until 10:54

Woke crying at 11:30 until 12:00

At midnight I caved and brought her into our bed for the rest of the night. I was so tired and couldn't handle the constant crying every five minutes. I think she was cold, tired and confused. That gave me no hope for the rest of the night.

Night Two:

Put in bed at 6:50

Cried until 7:33 (43 mins)

Cried 8:31-843

Whined for <30secs on and off (every half hour or so) until 11

Nursed her at 11

Laid her down at 11:23, no crying!!

Whined a bit here and there <30secs

Nursed at 3:30

Laid down at 3:43, no crying!!!

Woke up at 6am whining. I wanted more sleep, so I brought her into our bed and nursed her. We all slept until 7am!!!

Night Three:

Put in bed at 6:58

Cried until 7:36 (38 mins)

Nursed at 11:10 

Asleep at 11:43 (30 mins of on off fussing)

Nursed at 3:50

Asleep at 4:05 (6 mins of fussing)

Woke for the day at 7am!

Night Four:

Put in bed at 6:55

Asleep at 7:25 (30 mins of fuss-crying)

Nursed at 1:00!!!!!

Asleep at 1:40 (20 mins of fussing and cooing)

Nursed at 5:20

Asleep at 5:37 (2 mins of fussing)

Awake for the day at 6:30!

Night Five (so far):

Put in bed at 6:47

Asleep at 6:52 (30 secs of crying then silent until she fell asleep!!!)

So as you can see, it's working! She still cries here and there, but I've come to realize that she needs to release that energy! Even during the day, I used to rush to her when she cried or fussed, but this week I've let her be for a few minutes and she calms herself down quickly! Her cries aren't the same as during the day when she needs something or is hurt, they're more of a fuss, whine, and "I'm not happy with this situation" cry. But ultimately, I know this was the right choice for our family because Cana is sleeping more than ever before. And peacefully! I don't think I can explain how joyful I get seeing my baby sleep without thrashing around in discomfort and waking up grouchy! And another added bonus? My marriage has been blessed as well! Having one on one time every evening with my spouse is so important and we are glad to have this time back to focus on each other. 

I can't wait to start nap training soon! Hopefully we are as blessed with that as we have been with nights! 

**Disclaimer: in no way do I think this method of sleep training is right for every baby. Every child is different, as are their families, and therefore will learn to sleep in different ways. I know some parents are totally against letting their baby cry and that's fine, but as I said, this is what worked for our family and we stand behind our choice 100%!**

Month SIX: half a year and counting!

Six months. There was a point around month 3 or 4 where I didn't think I'd survive to this point, but lo and behold, I have, and more importantly, so have you! The other night you were eating for the thousandth time and as you laid upon my chest, I recalled the first time you laid there. Covered in goo, slightly blue and cone headed as can be! I remember thinking how tiny you were and how tiny you would always be. Now, these last few days, I've found myself looking at you thinking, how have you gotten so big? Aren't you supposed to be my little baby forever? Where has the time gone?

I'm tempted to be upset at myself for not savoring your infancy as much as I can. However, when I look back, I realize it's impossible to keep everything as perfectly in my memory as I wish I could. But the things I've held on to, I won't ever forget. You can count on that!

Thank you for six wonderfully challenging months of motherhood. I can't wait for the next six. 

Month Six Highlights:

-You perfected your rolling skills. Front to back, back to front. It ain't no thang. However, you still like to pretend you're stuck sometimes just so I will come get you. And it always works... Sucker is my middle name!

-Guess how your sleep is? Sucky? Great guess! If anything, it's worse, because you have started moving in your sleep more which makes you nock into me or your father and then you wake up. And if you don't wake up I sure do. Thanks... We've brought your pack n play back out and hope to slowly transition you into it over the next couple of weeks. We'll see though... My breath is not held.

-You can hold yourself up on the coffee table, ottoman, and couch, but you get excited, jump and then fall down. It's dangerously cute!

-You can scoot backwards by pushing up on your hands. But when you aren't doing that, you push up on your toes (which lifts your little booty in the air) and jam your face into the ground. Hopefully you learn to do both at once soon. 

-Your favorite trick is to bang toys as hard as you can on your high chair tray, then throw them on the ground... Making your dad and me pick up ten thousand toys a night. 

-You nap in your car seat very well, but have come to hate being put into it. However, a little music making toy or song and dance by your father distracts you long enough to get you buckled.

-You got your first ear infection and bout of bronchitis... It was no fun. So much coughing and fussing.

-You also got your first tooth!!!! It's still low on your gums but does damage to my tender fingers! And I think it's a shark tooth. Because it is pointy.... 

-Ash Wednesday mass at daddy's school was great! You got your ashes and then promptly wiped them off with your crazy hands... 

-You celebrated your first valentines day and went to your (and my) first ordination Mass! Congrats Br. James!

-You helped mama and daddy celebrate our birthdays! Your gifts were great! You got me a fussy baby with a cold and you got your daddy a fussy baby with a tooth coming in! You're so sweet! 

-When you're sitting and want to reach a toy far away, you kinda do this splits thing with one foot behind and one foot in front of you. I think you'll start crawling from a sitting position instead of on your belly. 

-You love when people clap for you! And you try super hard to emulate it but usually just end up waving your hands around like a crazy woman.

-Oma and grandpa came to visit for a few days over valentines day weekend. It was a blast as always!

Stats: the doctors office messed up your appointment time so we have to wait until next week to get your stats... I'm not angry at all.... 

-Weight: 20 lbs 2 oz. 95%. Your comfort zone.

-Height: 27 1/2 in. 90%. 

-Head Circumfrence: 17in. 70%. Finally your head is catching up to your thighs!

-Shots: Daddy got to see you get shots for the first time. He agreed it was no fun but also that you get really cute when you start crying after a delayed reaction!

-Comments from Dr. G: You're still way cute and super friendly! She's always amazed how developmentally ahead you are in certain areas and thinks you'll be an early walker for sure!

Some Photos:

How We Met: the road to marriage

In the Beginning: Erika: After spending the summer of 2010 as a missionary for Life Teen at Camp Covecrest in Georgia, I knew I wanted to do it again. However, despite my desire to return to Covecrest, God had a different plan and called me instead to Camp Tepeyac in Prescott, AZ for the summer of 2011. At first I wasn't thrilled about spending my summer at the retreat center I had been to so many times before, but little did I know... Frankie:  During my freshmen year of college a good friend of mine came to me and said, "Frankie, I have a summer job for you." After having worked at Covecrest for the previous three summers, one of which was with Erika, my buddy Luke urged me to look into doing it myself. I checked out the Life Teen website and I was sold! A Catholic summer camp was exactly the adventure I needed. He suggested I work at Camp Covecrest, but I wanted my own camp to work at. I had been to Arizona in the past and I loved it, so I applied to work at Camp Tepeyac in Prescott, AZ. Evidently I chose the right camp.. Erika: The first time I saw him, he was coming up the escalator at the Pheonix airport on the day all of the Tepeyac missionaries arrived. I remember being excited to meet him because we had a mutual friend; but that was as much as I knew about him as I hugged him and said, "Hi, I'm Erika. You're Luke's friend, right?" Frankie: When I first met Erika I remembered her from some e-mails we exchanged before camp. She was a veteran to this whole camp thing and seemed to have a lot of enthusiasm going into it. As I enjoyed a sandwich for lunch Erika plopped down right next to me and starting eating her salad. She then began to explain how she was not only lactose intolerant, but gluten-intolerant as well. I thought to myself, this girl was crazy... Erika: Almost week into our time at camp, all of us missionaries took a trip to the Grand Canyon. This was the day I claim to have found my best friend. On the long drive home, Frankie and I sat next to each other and talked about Saints and faith and everything else we could think of. And eventually, he fell asleep on my shoulder.  Frankie: For the week or so of camp, I kind of kept to myself. During free time everyone else would play games and get to know each other and I would be outside practicing my jump shot. The start of camp was like the first day of college for me and I was trying to find my place. When we went to the Grand Canyon I came out of my shell a little. On the ride home I sat next to Erika. After our great conversation I thought to myself, alright, this Erika girl is actually pretty darn cool. Dating: Erika: In the last few weeks of camp, as Frankie and I became better friends, I began to develop feelings for him. However, because we weren't supposed to date at camp and I thought I was just being silly, I prayed intensely for the feelings to disappear. However, on the last night of camp, the last night I might ever see Frankie, I caved. In a mess of emotion and confusion, I asked, "What if it wasn't so crazy?"  Frankie: As camp rolled on, Erika and I became best friends. Other missionaries approached both of us asking if we had a romantic relationship forming. Both of us couldn't help but laugh at the question, especially since I was convinced that I would never marry a woman with bigger hands than me! When she shared her feelings with me on the last day of camp, I was flattered, confused, and surprised. At the time, she was just a good friend to me; but a week later, I called her to share some feelings of my own. After realizing how much I truly cared about Erika, I asked her to pray with me until October 1st, to see if God was calling us to pursue a relationship together. Erika: On October 1, 2011 at midnight, we sat on the phone, 900 miles apart. He called me his girlfriend and I called him my boyfriend and we fully admitted that we were the cheesiest people on the planet. Seven days later I flew to Colorado to see him for the first time since camp! I was terrified it'd be weird and that we'd realize it wasn't meant to be; however, the moment I hugged him, I knew it was perfect. At the end of the weekend, when my mom picked me up from the airport and asked how it was, I replied, "I think I'm gonna marry him..." Frankie: When Erika came to visit me for the first time I was blown away by her beauty. Our first weekend dating was fantastic, and our relationship continued to grow after that. Every Sunday we would Skype and end in Night Prayer. Those Skype dates were the highlights of my week! I knew we had something special forming... Leap of Faith: Erika: After only a few months of dating, the two of us knew quite clearly that we had something great. In November of 2011, I began a 54 day Rosary Novena to Our Blessed Mother Mary to pray about moving 900 miles away to be closer to a guy I knew for less than a year. As crazy as it sounded and as scary as it seemed, on June 1, 2012, I moved into my very first apartment in Greeley, Colorado, just down the street from Frankie's house. Frankie: The old cliche for marriage is, "when you know, you know." Well after a few months, if not sooner, I knew. Erika was the one. She would drop hints about engagement and they made me feel uneasy. Around November 2012, though, these uneasy feelings went away. In discernment and prayer the idea of proposing just felt right. Proposal: Erika: After months and months of prayer, Frankie and I knew that the Lord was calling us to marriage and it's safe to say I got a little impatient! After Christmas in 2012, I knew Frankie could propose any day and I made sure I was ready by always having my nails painted and making sure I actually did my hair when he took me on dates. However, I got so impatient that I began searching for any little clue and tried to narrow down the days it could happen on. The week before we actually got engaged, Frankie told me he was going to take me on a big date; everything in me felt that this was it! I told my roommate that I thought Frankie would propose the following weekend and she informed me that almost all of our friends knew Frankie's "plan" and unfortunately, that weekend was not it. I was crushed. So much that I cried my eyes out to Frankie and apologized for being so disappointed. Again, little did I know...  Frankie: As my discernment increased, my Spiritual Director suggested I ask God for a specific date to propose. The Feast Day of Our Lady of Lourdes was coming up on February 11th and the date sounded perfect since she has been so important to my life. Seeing as the 11th was a Monday, I knew it would be hard to do it on that day, so I decided to pop the question on the 10th. We spent a beautiful day in Estes Park on the 9th and I was nervous as all get out the morning of the 10th. I tricked her into running by the chapel after Mass that morning and after I quickly changed into my suit, and grabbed some flowers, I led my future bride down the stairs to the chapel. There, I told her it was my job to get her to Heaven and that I would be by her side until my death. I asked her to be my bride, and she said exactly what I expected... SHE SAID YES!

Perfect Mercy

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful"You see, then, that Christ has two natures in one Person, one which always was and another which began to be. And according to that nature which was eternally his, he always knew everything. But according to that which began in time, he experienced many things in time. In this way he began to know the miseries of the flesh, by that mode of cognition which the weakness of the flesh instructs. Our first parents were wiser and happier when they did not know that which they came to know only foolishly and in wretchedness. But God their Creator, seeking what was lost, came down in mercy in pursuit of his wretched creatures, to where they had miserably fallen. He wanted to experience for himself what they were suffering because they had gone against his will. He came not out of a curiosity like theirs, but out of a wonderful charity. He did not intend to remain wretched among them, but to free those who were wretched as one made merciful. Therefore Christ was made merciful, not with that mercy which he who remained happy had had from eternity, but with that mercy which he discovered in our fleshly garb as he himself went through our misery. -St. Bernard 

This morning, as I prayed through the gospel reading, I must admit, I found myself getting angry. Give and you'll be rewarded?! Oh really? Then why do I feel like I give and give and give, yet I still struggle under the weight of the same crosses day after day? I must have written the word "why" a thousand times in my journal. And then I read the quote above...

Slap.

Christ took on flesh, experienced the misery of human life (in the worst possible way), all for the sake of offering me the hope I lacked this morning. Christ doesn't just offer us perfect mercy from His seat in Heaven; no, he offers mercy that has carried every cross. He gives mercy that can relate to every struggle. He gives mercy that perfects the imperfect. 

So when I give and give and feel as if all my struggles aren't being received, I need only to remember one thing: Mercy.