Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award: woohoo!

So, I'm definitely new to this here blog thing, but I'm not new to reading them! Over the years I've created a vast library of amazing blogs on bloglovin. Many have thousands of followers, some just a few (like me). But through reading them, I've learned about and have been inspired by some amazing women! 

One of those women is Carrie! She's an amazing friend and missionary! I was blessed to serve with her a few years ago at Camp Tepeyac for the summer (also where I met Frankie!). She writes over at Surrendering for Greatness, as well as LifeTeen.com! She has an amazing faith and shares it so well! 

Carrie was so kind to nominate me for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award (thank you)!!! The rules of this award are as follows:  Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their site, put the award logo on your blog, answer the ten questions sent to you, make a list of ten questions for your nominees, and nominate seven blogs.

Simple enough!

10 Questions posed to me:

1) What book have you recently read that inspired you?

I don't read much, but a friend of mine let me borrow Women of Opis Dei and it's amazing! Such an easy read! I loved reading the stories of how real women live out their call to holiness in their everyday life. 

2) In five years, what kind of woman do you hope to be?

A holy one. With a lot of patience. Lord have mercy!

3) In three sentences, what advice would you give the young women of the world?

Trust in Gods plan. He will always provide for you. You are worth more than you think. 

4) What dream are you working to make come true?

Succeeding at being a stay at home mom. It's so difficult. But so worth it. I just hope I can do it as well as I'm called to!

5) What’s your favorite ice cream?

Well, Cana isn't fond of dairy in her breastmilk, so I lay off. But Americone Dream by my friends Ben and Jerry is like Heaven in a bowl.

6) What is the most interesting fact you learned this week?

Cleopatra was born closer to the invention of the iPhone than she was to the building of the Great Pyramids! Wow!

7) Why do you blog?

Pride? Haha No no... Honestly, I blog because writing has always been something I've enjoyed. As a stay at home mom, I find myself wanting to have conversations throughout the day about random things on my mind and heart, but Cana gets bored of my talking. So I figured, maybe someone on the internet would like to know what I think about this and that! Turns out, not many people do. But it's an amazing outlet. 

8) What challenge do you want to face this year?  (This could be a personal challenge, a global challenge, a work-related challenge…)

Sleep training. And as if that isn't bold enough, working out regularly. Man, my bar is high!

9) What’s your most-used kitchen gadget?

Our knife block. Is that a gadget? Regardless, we make a lot of pico and that requires all the chopping in the world.

10) What is your favorite Bible verse?  Why?  (Or if you’re not a Bible person, what’s your favorite inspirational quote?)

Romans 12. The chapter is what made me give my first 'yes' to Christ and almost 9 years later, it still inspires me to follow Christ on the daily!

I follow so many blogs, but there's something special about the lesser known blogs on the internet. Some of my favorites are:

Story of a Rose

In My FathersVineyard 

Page by Paige

Happy, Healthy, Holy

A Mommy Memoir

Transplanted to Life

Roses for Mommy

Now it's your turn ladies! Answer these 10 questions and nominate your 7 favorite blogs (not me lol)

1) Who is your favorite biblical star (aside from Jesus, that's obvious)?

2) what's the best advice you've ever received?

3) Tell us a joke.

4) What's your favorite topic to blog about or read on other blogs?

5) What's one skill you wish you had, but sadly lack?

6) Who is the most inspiring woman in your life and why?

7) Why do you blog?

8) Where do you want to travel but haven't had the chance yet?

9) What is one thing you wish all men in our world would understand?

10) What do you hope to accomplish in the next year?

Airing My Dirty Laundry

When I first found out I was pregnant, I did all the research there was on parenting and labor and birth and baby products and breastfeeding and diapers and so on and on and onnnnnnnnnn. There were some things I found ridiculous and other that I was dead set on doing. Cloth diapers is one of the latter. However, we were living in an apartment without a washer and dryer, so I pretty much gave up. That is until we moved to Denver and praise The Lord on high we have a laundry room! Back on the cloth train, we went!

My desire for doing cloth has basically nothing to do with the environment (I don't even recycle..) but everything to do with saving money! On average, by using cloth diapers from birth to potty training a family can save like $2,000!!! Per. Kid. I don't know about you but i could stand to save a few grand! Honorable mentions go to: quicker potty training, less diaper rash, no blowouts and cute bum factor.

In most of my research, I found that the average cloth diaper stash costs around $500. Although that's only a few months worth of disposable diapers, it was still too much for my bargain lovin heart. So, I set out to buy a stash of diapers under $200. And you beta believe I did it for even less than that (I know, call me pro)! 

Here's what I have:

24 (new) Indian prefolds from cottonbabies.com -$36 (infant size, trifolded)

8 Flip covers - (5 used for $25) (3 new for $15 on Black Friday)

10 Alva pocket diapers (new) -$50

14 fitted diapers (bought used and I don't use them really ever) -$20

6 (used) Rumparooz covers -$20 

I used the Rumparooz covers for a few days and they leaked every time because I just couldn't get them to fit Cana well. So I sold them on eBay for $50!!! So awesome! Grand total: $116!!!

The Diapers:

Here is an empty flip cover! I love the two button closures and the adjustable rise. These also have a fabric flap inside on the front and back to help prevent blowouts! And they work!!!

Here is an empty Alva pocket diaper. The three button closure gives a better leg fit (for thin leg children) but since Cana is chunky, two would do the trick, so the third button just gets annoying. Gosh that sounds lazy! These are made in china, and are every bit as amazing as the non china diapers but 1/4th of the cost! Highly recommended if you're a pocket diaper lover! 

This is my diaper drawer! So fancy. 

-On the far left, I stack microfiber inserts for the alva pocket diapers. Cana is a heavy wetter so I stuff two per diaper when I use the Alvas. 

-Next are the diapers! I never pre-stuff them, so all 18 fit in one little box (it's laundry day, so there are only a few in there now)

-Next is a stack of disposable diapers for night time use. We use pampers swaddlers because the hospital got us hooked on them... And when a box lasts you monthsssss, you're willing to pay the big bucks. 

-On the far right is where I stack the prefolds. Forgive the stains on the top one... It snowed last week when I washed it so I couldn't hang it in the sun to bleach out the stains... Sorry. But you can see the lovely white mesh fabric my mom sewed on! It's perfect!

-Lastly, you can see a flip cover hanging over the side of the drawer. The best part about Flips is that the covers can be reused a few times before washing! Because the inside is waterproof, I just wipe it down after I change her (if she just peed, no poop) and hang it to dry a bit before the next diaper change. Totally saves laundry and money! 

Getting Started: 

We started using cloth diapers when Cana turned two months old. Before that, she was so tiny, the diapers wouldn't fit right, we had been gifted a ton of disposables from showers, and I was still getting used to having a baby. I couldn't dream of starting a new adventure until I got the hang of having her around! At first we just used cloth during the day when we were at home. Now, we use them full time during the day (out and about and at home) but we still use disposable at night. Cana is still a strange sleeper so until she starts sleeping a little more solidly at night, we'll stick with disposable. I never change her diaper at night, so I'm ok with using ONE disposable diaper a day. That still saves us a ton of money!

Washing:

When I tell people we use cloth, they think about poop and stink and touching poop. Not. At. All. Seriously, I've only touched Cana's poop a few times in her life and it was only when she had major blowouts in her disposable diapers and I had to peel her clothes off of her... Ugh. But with cloth, she's never had a blowout! EVER! And because she is breastfed, her solids aren't solid and they dissolve in water. So I take the diaper off, put it in the pail and every few days I throw them in the wash. Done.

I was most worried about washing the diapers, since I hate laundry, but I've discovered that her diapers are my favorite laundry to do. Because it's soooo easy! I throw them all in the washer and set it for a rinse and spin on cold (this helps with stains). When that's done, I add a small amount of Country Save detergent and set the washer to heavy, hot and add an extra rinse at the end. When they're done, I hang everything to dry on a rack and sometimes put them away when they're dry. However, usually I say, "hey Frankie, grab me a flip cover and prefold from the drying rack please!" 

The best part? Our apartments pay our water bill! Even more of a money saver! #win

Cons of Cloth:

There aren't many cons in my opinion, but on the days I run out of clean diapers I kinda think about the ease of disposables but then I realize it takes two seconds to throw them in the wash... So, I get off my lazy butt and do it. 

Frankie isn't the best at putting on cloth diapers... Granted, it took him quite a while to get decent at putting on disposables so I can't blame him. So usually I'm the diaper changer, but it's seriously not bad at all. People who complain about diaper changes need to suck it up. It's your baby. You get to see they're cute bum. And I always throw in a tummy tickle for good measure. Cana loves playing and laughing during her changes and it's become one of my favorite times with her. No joke. 

Another con I've found with cloth is actually fixed now, so it's not really a con anymore. But, because I use 100% cotton prefolds inside our flip covers, the cotton doesn't pull away moisture from Cana's skin and therefore gives her a bit of a rash. I hated the idea of having to buy the expensive "stay dry" inserts or switch back to disposable because of the rash, so I did some research and found a solution! My mom, actually, went to the fabric store and bought a thin mesh fabric (specifically for cloth diapers) and sewed a rectangle onto each prefold in the center. Problem solved with $3 worth of fabric and a very crafty mother! The mesh pulls the wetness down into the cotton, leaving her skin feel oh so dry! Woohoo! 

Conclusion:

(aka: what you've been waiting for...)

I am absolutely in love with cloth diapers. I don't think I'll ever switch back to disposables, full time, with Cana or any future children we might have. The affordability, ease, and containment cloth diapers provide is just too good to pass up! Plus, I love how Cana's belly hangs over the front and how massive her bum looks from behind! 

If you ever want to talk diapers, let me know. I'll clear my schedule. 

Signed,

Obsessed

He knows my heart

Yesterday, I gave up.

I sat in the living room at 10 o'clock at night, holding a squirming child and I was gone. I was totally frozen. Four months of stress, lack of sleep and a high needs baby (read the link, it's a perfect description of Cana) led to me just giving up. I couldn't rock her. I couldn't play with her. I couldn't talk to my poor, confused husband... I couldn't even cry. 

It was scary. I've never really shut down that way before.

As I finally went to bed, I mustered out a vocal prayer, "Please, God. Please."

Today was so different. I woke up not knowing how to feel, but my little lady was all smiles, so it was hard to not feel instant joy. Then she slept. For two and a half hours, peacefully in my arms. That sounds horrible to some people, but with my girl, I don't care where she sleeps as long as she does for more than a few minutes! 

After her nap, I knew I needed to go to Mass. We needed it. And praise God we went. 

"Do not harden your heart." 

Today's Psalm was perfect and Fr. John spoke about letting go of stress and resentment during his homily.

After Mass, the cutest little old lady played with Cana for a few minutes, making us all belly laugh. Her joy and love for Cana was beyond great! 

As I walked into the lobby, a young man held the door for me and said, "your daughter is just beautiful!" She sure is. How quickly I forget how blessed I am to have her.

And finally, as I dipped my hand into the holy water, a firefighter approached me. He thanked me for being at Mass today, and said it was a joy to hear Cana talking all throughout the Mass. He mentioned that his wife used to struggle as a stay at home mom and on her hard days she would go to Mass and sit in the very front row with her son, just like I did today. He said, "The Church needs you here. And you need to be here. So thank you!" Then, he reached into his coat pocket and handed me a prayer card for families. As I held back tears, he said, "God bless" and walked away. 

When I got into my car I bawled. I couldn't even begin to drive because the tears clouded my eyes. I just sat and cried and mustered out a vocal prayer, "Thank you, God. Thank you." 

I'll say it again and again: motherhood is hard. The hardest thing I've ever done. But God needs me to do it. And I am blessed to be able to! He knows my heart and knows what I need to be the best mother I can be. I need only ask for His mercy and grace. 

Month 4

Four months new. Every day is a new adventure with you. You change with the wind.

Here's a recap of the last few weeks:

Your sleep still sucks. But I've learned to not stress about it. I'm letting you guide me with your sleepy cues for now. And if you don't nap, I don't push it, I just try again later. We all feel more rested because of it and I'm hopeful that you'll continue to settle into a routine as time goes on.

You've learned to play with toys. It's so exciting to see you become more independent. 

You reach for and grab everything you see. I love your curiousity. 

We are officially swaddle free and I love it! As I rock you to sleep, you love running your tiny fingers across my chest and love holding my face or hands at night. 

You light up when your daddy walks in the room. Try as I might, I can never get you to laugh as big as you do for your dear dad. I don't mind it one bit.

You were spoiled rotten for your first Christmas. Never forget how loved and blessed you are, sweet girl. 

You flew for the first time post-womb and loved/hated it. I partially blame myself though. But I've learned a bit and feel like next time will go a little more smoothly. 

You've outgrown your 0-3 and 3 month clothes. I'm a little sad every time I pack your clothes away, but I do love the cute new outfits I get to put you in! 

You're beginning to master sitting! You can sit for almost a minute if you focus on something on the floor in front of you. However, that hardly happens because you're always moving your head to gaze around the room. 

You've shown a full 0% interest in rolling over, but I have read that some babes skip it until after crawling.

You've started rotating in circles while on your tummy to get to things you want. Hence why I think you'll be a baby who skips rolling. 

You've outgrown your acid reflux!!!! Woohooo! No more medicine and massive amounts of spitting up! 

I hope you don't mind me sharing this, but you get the worst gas lately! Or maybe it's a normal amount and you just suck at getting it out. I would bet that you'd sleep through the night if you didn't wake up trying to toot every hour or so... Daddy is trying to teach you. ;)

You've found your toes, and you love them! For some reason your left foot is more desirable. 

Finally, mommy and daddy can eat dinner in peace, thanks to your high chair. Now that you can sit up at the table with us and play with toys, you're much more content letting us have a nice, long and relaxing dinner! 

Your fingers don't grow nails. They grow razors. Even when I cut them, by night fall they're daggers again. Want proof: look at your road rash nose. 

You've found your voice and love the sound of it. But sometimes you surprise yourself with the sounds you make. It's adorable. 

You've begun staying awake at Mass! Sometimes you get cranky during the end, but watching you participate in the Mass in your own little way is just beautiful! 

When you're sad or tired, nothing will please you except being in my arms. Sometimes, I can't even leave your eye sight without you screaming for me to come back. Mamas girl for sure. 

Your stats: 

Weight: 17lbs 8oz (>95%)! When you had a cold the day before Christmas, you weighed 16lbs 8oz. That's a whole pound in just two weeks... I guess everyone gains weight over the holidays! 

Height: 25 1/2 in. (90%) You're on track to take after your uncles!

Head Circumference: 15 1/2 in. (10%) apparently your head didn't grow much in the last two months so we need to keep an eye on that, but developmentally you're doing great so I think your noggin is fine!

Shots: When the nurse poked you, you looked at me with the saddest face and then turned bright red and screamed. But once the bandaids were on and your paci was in your mouth, you were totally fine. What a champ!

Comments from Dr. G: I seriously adore your pediatrician and she adores you! She said you've hit all your milestones and MORE! She was shocked at your strength and said you're doing multiple things that typically don't develop until the 5-6 month mark! Go baby, go!

My favorite photos:

Arizona Vacation

I was blessed to live in various places while growing up because my dad was in the Army, but it made the question, "where are you from?" difficult to answer. Now though, I simply say "Arizona." The Phoenix Valley was the only place I lived more than a few years and so it has earned the title of "childhood home." 

I won't say I miss living in Arizona on the daily. In fact, I don't miss it pretty much ever. Well... Unless it's blizzarding outside and I have errands to run. Then I miss the dry, brown landscape of the Sanoran Desert! Buuuut, I must admit, I do love a good AZ vacation. Why you ask? 

Answer: free housing. Free food. Free access to a car. Pool in the backyard. Time with my parents. Catching up with friends. In n Out (duh). Ability to see palm trees. No snow. And In n Out once more for good measure (double duh). Among other things.

Frankie and I always seem to find some creative adventures to go on while we are in town as well as some not so creative ones. We like our lame traditions and we are not ashamed! So what if we go to Target a million times, eat our weight in burgers from In n Out and walk aimlessly around Tempe Marketplace every other day?! It's what you do in the Valley! But at least we make up for it by going on some fun trips to the mountains and stuff. Woooo!

Ultimately though, the best part of our AZ vacations is relaxing at my parents house with, you guessed it, my parents. It was hard to realize until I moved away to CO, but I've got some pretty rad parents. And the fact that my husband gets along with them so perfectly makes them even cooler. There's nothing better than seeing your spouse joke around with your father like they're long lost buds. 

Now that we have Cana, I was so excited to vacation in AZ this Christmas! We got to escape the frozen tundra of Denver and relax with some very excited grandparents. I honestly don't think I've ever seen my parents so enamored. They love our girl to the moon and back. And they love Frankie and me so well too! It was such a blessing to have a constant helping hand and endless offers to watch Cana while we relaxed, showered or even SLEPT!!! 

It was so sad to pack up and leave, but absence makes the heart grow founder, right? I suppose. 

Now, enjoy these photos as I begin planning our month long summer Vacation road trip to the Big AZ! 

First flight... Let's not talk about the amount of screaming....

They don't like her at all. What a shame.

The best babysitter ever: the toy dangler. 

The sink was made for baby baths apparently! 

Party hard. Til 7:30pm.

We took a drive to Tortilla Flats (population 6) and Cana demanded to try on this cowboy hat. 

She devoured this bottle for a good twenty minutes.

We took the light rail downtown for dinner and didn't anticipate the cold, so Cana got to wear this tiny hat of hers. 

In n Out. Nough said.

We got to go on a date! Four Peaks for dinner and Hunger Games afterwards!