Sacrificial Suffering

Today is the first feast day for Pope Saint John Paul II (or is it St. Pope JPII or JPII St. Pope or JP St. Pope II?). And I've been reflecting all day, because it takes that long these days to do anything, on his life and especially the last few years of it and his death...

I remember watching video of JPIIs last days. He could hardly function and looked utterly exhausted all of the time. Why didn't he relax more? Why did he still run his normal schedule of papal audiences? Why didn't he just lay in bed like he probably desperately wanted to? Why?

Because without sacrifice, suffering is nothing more than an execution. 

John Paul II did something so great throughout his entire papacy: he showed us how to give until there was nothing left to give. He showed us all how to embrace our priestly call as baptized Christians. It's easy to forget we were baptized as priest, prophet and king. And if we do embrace those roles, it seems easiest to live as King and even prophet, but for me at least, it's hard to live out my priestly role. 

JPII teaches us a simple way to live it out though. Sacrifice through suffering. 

You see if Christ didn't willing offer himself up to suffer on the cross, it wouldn't mean redemption and salvation, it would be nothing more than an execution. It'd be pointless. Christ was not only a victim, but a redeemer. That's the call of priesthood. To make our suffering meaningful and purposeful. 

Motherhood has made me focus a lot on my own suffering, and more importantly my ability and need to sacrifice. My daughter and my husband need me a lot these days. And honestly, it's exhausting. Very often, I feel like I just want to lay in bed all day, throw out the to do list and hand off my responsibilities to someone else. But I don't. I can't. Why?

Because without sacrifice, my suffering is nothing more than an execution. 

If I let my suffering consume me, if I cave under the weight of my stress and exhaustion, it means nothing. Nothing but defeat.

So tonight as I listen to my crying daughter being rocked by my exhausted husband and I feel tempted to ignore his silent plea for help, I will choose to sacrifice. To make my exhaustion meaningful. To make my sore shoulders a place for my spouse to rest his burdens. To make my tired eyes open wide and see what a blessing my little sufferings are to my family. 

St. Pope JPII, pray for us!