Minutes after Cana was born, as she lay naked and slimy on my chest, I watched her begin to root around and search for her first meal. If anyone doubts she's like her father, doubt no more! She loves her food just like papa!
I was so excited to begin the journey of breastfeeding and tried to prepare myself as best as I could before she was born. I read and watched and researched all I possibly could. I prepared for pain but was determined to get a perfect latch right away that I didn't think too much about it.
The first feed went well, or so I thought. I was riding the high of birthing my first baby and didn't care or notice that little miss was eating alllllll wrong. I paid for it. But as we made our way to recovery and met with a lactation consultant, we fixed her latch and everything looked good. Emphasis on look. Not feel.
A few days after getting home from the hospital I began dreading breastfeeding. I was in so much pain and felt like I was doing it all wrong (I was). I was tempted to quit. Tempted to resort to pumping exclusively. Tempted to cry like a big, unfed baby! But, my very encouraging husband reminded me how important this was for our girl. And reminded me that my pain had purpose. Isn't he the best? Answer: yes!
So I researched some more, made an appointment with a lactation consultant and changed my entire mentality. As soon as I did those things, everything changed (sans the pain). I began to enjoy the moments of endless and excruciating pain because looking at the face of my daughter, in her perfect peace, was worth it. I now find so much joy in the limp limbs of my chugging girl and laugh every time I burp her. Because how can you not when your newborn looks like a drunken sailor (pirate eye and all)?
I can't help but love feeling her warm body against mine and knowing that I am still her source. I am still, despite the lack of umbilical cord, the one she relies on for almost everything. I'm her mama and she needs me. There's no better relief for pain than knowing that.
Today, after meeting with a lactation consultant, we found out that Cana has a short tongue connector (official medical term...) and it is preventing her from getting a good latch and enough milk at each feeding. At last, the source of the pain! Although, I'm dreading taking her to get it snipped (without any numbing meds), I know it will be so worth it in the long run for us both.
Pray for us? Gracias.
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