Mad about sleeping from day one...
Six months into motherhood, I now laugh at the wishful thinking mother I was 12 hours after Cana's birth. You think you can put her down and she'll sleep? Ha! You think she will sleep without you right up next to her all dang night, switching positions whenever she's uncomfortable and nursing whenever she desires a bit of a snack? So funny!
You see, we got lucky with our sweet Cane. ;) She's been a horrendous sleeper since day one (with a few weeks of 6-7 hr stretches around 4 to 8 weeks old). She had reflux, a milk protein allergy, and is very strong willed. This all added up to her not being able to sleep well on her own.
Now I'm all for cosleeping, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, homeschooling and the other "crunchy mom" things. They're my brand of parenting. So when Cana began to regress in her sleep around 2 months, I happily pulled her into bed with us at night. First it was just around 4am, but soon it began getting earlier and earlier until I eventually just put her pack n play away and decided to cosleep full time. I loved it, Frankie loved it and Cana loved it! She would sleep 3-6 hours at a time snuggled in my arms and we'd all wake up well rested! What more could you ask for?
This worked wonderfully for our family until Cana got big enough to move in her sleep and weaned herself off of the swaddle. She began waking upwards of ten times a night because she was uncomfortable and then would only go back to sleep if she was fed.
All of this made me realize that cosleeping just wasn't going to work much longer. Despite the ease and our love for it, none of us were sleeping as well as we should have. So I began researching sleep training. I wanted to do gentle approaches, but quickly realized Cana's personality was far too strong for them. So on to Cry It Out I went... I hated the idea of her crying and I was terrified she'd be one of those babies who cried forever and ever, so we kept putting it off. Illness, teeth, allergies, and busy schedules kept getting in the way of sleep training until finally I put my foot down. Spring Break! Frankie would be home for a week and we didn't have any big plans. Perfect!
In all my months of research, we decided that a full extinction method was all that might work on our strong willed baby. We decided to do our normal bedtime routine (bath, pajamas, story, nurse, prayers, sing Salve Regina) then put her down awake and walk out. We'd let her cry for an hour then go get her and try again once she was calm. I think. To be honest, we never really had a solid plan of what to do after the hour mark... But praise God we didn't ever reach that point!
We are now entering night 5 of sleep training and I am pleased to say it is working! So much better than I thought! I've learned a lot about my baby in these last few nights, especially that she is a tension releaser! She needs to let out her energy before bed and that does mean some fussing and crying, but it's her way of settling down. It's heartbreaking to hear (I always cry), but seeing my sweet baby actually resting and sleeping makes up for it!
Here's how it went:
Night One:
Put in bed at 7:05
She cried until 7:41 (36 mins)
Cried 9:45-9:57
Woke at 10:15 so I went in and nursed her.
Laid her down at 10:29
She cried on and off until 10:54
Woke crying at 11:30 until 12:00
At midnight I caved and brought her into our bed for the rest of the night. I was so tired and couldn't handle the constant crying every five minutes. I think she was cold, tired and confused. That gave me no hope for the rest of the night.
Night Two:
Put in bed at 6:50
Cried until 7:33 (43 mins)
Cried 8:31-843
Whined for <30secs on and off (every half hour or so) until 11
Nursed her at 11
Laid her down at 11:23, no crying!!
Whined a bit here and there <30secs
Nursed at 3:30
Laid down at 3:43, no crying!!!
Woke up at 6am whining. I wanted more sleep, so I brought her into our bed and nursed her. We all slept until 7am!!!
Night Three:
Put in bed at 6:58
Cried until 7:36 (38 mins)
Nursed at 11:10
Asleep at 11:43 (30 mins of on off fussing)
Nursed at 3:50
Asleep at 4:05 (6 mins of fussing)
Woke for the day at 7am!
Night Four:
Put in bed at 6:55
Asleep at 7:25 (30 mins of fuss-crying)
Nursed at 1:00!!!!!
Asleep at 1:40 (20 mins of fussing and cooing)
Nursed at 5:20
Asleep at 5:37 (2 mins of fussing)
Awake for the day at 6:30!
Night Five (so far):
Put in bed at 6:47
Asleep at 6:52 (30 secs of crying then silent until she fell asleep!!!)
So as you can see, it's working! She still cries here and there, but I've come to realize that she needs to release that energy! Even during the day, I used to rush to her when she cried or fussed, but this week I've let her be for a few minutes and she calms herself down quickly! Her cries aren't the same as during the day when she needs something or is hurt, they're more of a fuss, whine, and "I'm not happy with this situation" cry. But ultimately, I know this was the right choice for our family because Cana is sleeping more than ever before. And peacefully! I don't think I can explain how joyful I get seeing my baby sleep without thrashing around in discomfort and waking up grouchy! And another added bonus? My marriage has been blessed as well! Having one on one time every evening with my spouse is so important and we are glad to have this time back to focus on each other.
I can't wait to start nap training soon! Hopefully we are as blessed with that as we have been with nights!
**Disclaimer: in no way do I think this method of sleep training is right for every baby. Every child is different, as are their families, and therefore will learn to sleep in different ways. I know some parents are totally against letting their baby cry and that's fine, but as I said, this is what worked for our family and we stand behind our choice 100%!**
