When I first learned I was pregnant, I found a book about the journey of pregnancy alongside Mary. I loved the idea of being pregnant and knowing that Mary, too, carried a child. After all, who doesn't want to be more like the mother of Christ?
However, after a few weeks, when I began to feel morning sickness and completely exhausted at all hours of the day, uniting my struggles with Mary began to be a bit of a struggle. Knowing Mary was conceived without sin means that she didn't have original sin. Part of original sin is definitely the pains of labor given to Eve by God (Genesis 3:16). Here I was in pain, discomfort and thinking of the intense suffering of labor to come; and there was Mary, with the most perfect pregnancy ever. In my head, all I could think was: that's so not fair! Clearly, I was letting my imperfections distance me from Mary and her perfection, especially in pregnancy.
However, I quickly realized that my suffering and discomfort and eventual labor pains can definitely be shared with Christ. Sure he never gave birth, and definitely had no original sin/sin of any kind, but Jesus delt with far more suffering than I could ever imagine. And what really brings me courage is the fact that He gave His body for the sake of us! The pain His body and heart endured was directly out of love for others. Isn't that what pregnancy and giving birth is all about? Sacrificing my body and comfort for the sake of my child, so she can have life!
Letting the idea of sacrifice really sink in is what has helped me make it through days of intense Braxton Hicks contractions, weeks of throwing up, and months of pure exhaustion. Without this understanding, my entire pregnancy would feel pointless and miserable. A nine month long journey of pain and discomfort, with no purpose. Praise God that's not the case! It has been very tempting to pray for God to take away my suffering and make things easier, but what would the cross mean if it wasn't hard? What would Jesus' death mean if He didn't suffer? What would motherhood mean if it didn't require sacrifice?
As I get ever closer to meeting you face to face, I pray that I might further understand the purpose of my suffering for you, sweet Cana Marie. I pray that after you are born I will continue to sacrifice for your salvation. I pray that I never forget how important the sacrifice of a mother is for her children. And I pray you might learn to know that my sacrifice is always out of love for you. But more importantly, that my love flows from the love of Jesus Christ and the greatest sacrifice of all: The Cross.
Amen.
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